Priorities and Understanding
This weekend I found myself in an unfamiliar space of sadness. Somehow in the path of the journey it seemed like friendship no longer held a place of priority.
The Story
For weeks we had been planning a girls’ night celebration for five of us who used to be inseparable, hanging out up to 6 nights a week, but who now rarely get together. The last time had been almost a year ago in March. On Friday night I got a voicemail that one of them decided that day to leave for Vegas in the morning with her boyfriend.
What I Made It Mean
I was crushed and disappointed. She had already confirmed the week prior that she would be there. The indignant voice in my head screamed, "They see each other almost every day and go to Vegas every 3-4 weeks. Can’t they just go next weekend?" I felt slighted, that being with your best girlfriends was not important enough to reserve one Saturday night for catching up. I made it mean that she didn’t love us enough.
What’s So
Each day includes hundreds of choices, conscious and unconscious. One of my personal resolutions is to try my best to consistently choose my priorities in the following order:
- my well being
- my immediate family
- my church, song and spirit
- my work and creativity
- my friends and community
- all the other stuff
I noticed that on my own priority list, several things came before girlfriends. There will be times that I choose to not go out because I’d rather have dinner with my parents or be alone for some quiet time. Just as I hope others understand those choices aren’t meant to make them feel less important, I realized that my friend deserved the same consideration.
Possibility
The possibility that I’m creating for myself and my life is the possibility of being understanding.
In the game of remember/forget, I sometimes forget to take the time to see a situation from other perspectives. I forget my space for understanding.
When I remember to stand in another’s shoes for a moment and consider the view, I remember that we are One. I find that peaceful place in my heart. I know without doubt that all is well, right and perfect. And so it is. Namaste 
